What did you just say??

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and still heavily sedated from a four hour operation.

A young nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet. "Nurse", he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet."

He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, are my testicles black?" Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown holds his willie in one hand and his testicles in her other hand and takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them!"

The man pulls off his oxygen mask and says very slowly, "That was very nice but listen very, very closely----Are.....my.......test......results.....back?"

Teacher - Student

Teacher: Why are you late?
Kannan: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Kannan: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."


Teacher: Denny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
Denny: You told me to do it without using tables!


Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?
Sitha: "HIJKLMNO"!!
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Sitha: Yesterday you said it's H to O!


Teacher: George, go to the map and find North America
George: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
George: George!


Teacher: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Willy: Me!


Teacher: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
Karthi: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime."


Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
Johnny: "Because George still had the axe in his hand."


Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Kirk: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.


Teacher: Somu, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Somu: No, Teacher, it's the same dog!


Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Ruby: A Teacher.


Teacher: Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student: A cow and a bull are grazing in the field Teacher
Teacher: How ?
Student: Ladies first!!

Fast Ride!!!

A wealthy computer businessman sees an advertisement on the Internet for the world’s fastest and most expensive car: the Tri-Turbo Convertible Fantasy. It sells for $1 million. The executive decides he must have it. So he has eight of his most talented assistants assigned to tracking down the vehicle. After months of searching, the car is located, bought and delivered. Eager to play with his new toy the executive takes it out for a spin.

At the first stoplight an old man looking about 85 years old rides up to the Fantasy on an old Vespa. The old man sticks his head inside without waiting for an invitation and says, “Quite a ride you got here, sonny. How fast will she go?”
“About 270”, the executive responds.
“Come on”, says the old man

Just then the light turns green and the executive decides to show the old man what the car can do. He floors it and within seconds the car is doing 270. But suddenly he notices in his rearview mirror a dot that seems to be getting closer and closer, and so he comes to a stop. Then Whoooooooosh, “The thing” goes flying by.

“What in the heck was that”, says the executive. “What can go faster than my Fantasy?”

Suddenly “the thing” comes racing back towards him and Whoooooosh, passes right by. This time the executive got a better look and so help him, it looked like the old man on the Vespa. “That just couldn’t be“, he says to himself. Then, through his rearview mirror, he sees it again. All of the sudden, WHAM! It smashes into the back end of the car.

The executive jumps out, and sure enough, it’s the old man on the Vespa that crashed into him.
“Are you OK?” asked the executive. “Is there anything I can do for you?”
“Yes,” replied the old man, “unhook my suspender from your side-view mirror, please”